I don't really know how to start this post or even really what I plan to say. All I can say is that its probably going to be a downer and if you don't want to read it, I completely understand.
I guess what I can do is start with a question. Have you guys noticed that there aren't any pictures of me on here pregnant? Well, there's a reason for that, mostly because I hate them all. They are horrible and more so than that, I look horrible. I have actually had three showers so far and have access to pictures from two of them but I just can't bring myself to post them and honestly, I don't really even want to look at them.
My little cousin took maternity pictures of me and Drew on Saturday. It will be a struggle to make myself buy them. I just don't like myself right now.
This little girl, I love her, but I'm finding it hard to love this version of myself. I know I haven't gained a lot and honestly as of Friday, I had gained 24 pounds. My scale said 161.
I'm just struggling. And to top it all off, the person who told me to "get up off my fat ass" when I was 26 weeks pregnant made the comment to my husband this weekend that "pregnancy had made me lazy". WTF? Are you serious? I guess maybe it has made me lazy. I mean, I'm only working 40 hours a week, going to the gym 3-4 times a week, and managing my household. I only cook dinner 4 or 5 nights a week and keep all the laundry clean, folded, and put away. I guess I am lazy.
~honey I blew up the kids~
21 hours ago