Monday, March 7, 2011

The Dark Side...

I don't really know how to start this post or even really what I plan to say.  All I can say is that its probably going to be a downer and if you don't want to read it, I completely understand.

I guess what I can do is start with a question.  Have you guys noticed that there aren't any pictures of me on here pregnant?  Well, there's a reason for that, mostly because I hate them all.  They are horrible and more so than that, I look horrible.  I have actually had three showers so far and have access to pictures from two of them but I just can't bring myself to post them and honestly, I don't really even want to look at them.

My little cousin took maternity pictures of me and Drew on Saturday.  It will be a struggle to make myself buy them.  I just don't like myself right now.

This little girl, I love her, but I'm finding it hard to love this version of myself.  I know I haven't gained a lot and honestly as of Friday, I had gained 24 pounds.  My scale said 161.

I'm just struggling.  And to top it all off, the person who told me to "get up off my fat ass" when I was 26 weeks pregnant made the comment to my husband this weekend that "pregnancy had made me lazy".  WTF?  Are you serious?  I guess maybe it has made me lazy.  I mean, I'm only working 40 hours a week, going to the gym 3-4 times a week, and managing my household.  I only cook dinner 4 or 5 nights a week and keep all the laundry clean, folded, and put away.  I guess I am lazy. 



  1. Oh man I am so sorry! First of all, that person should shut their are clearly NOT lazy, and I certainly hope this is someone you can avoid being around. Second, I totally get how you feel about not loving yourself right now, but totally loving the little person inside of you. It is really hard to be pregnant and growing...I hope you can come to look at your pregnant self as beautiful eventually b/c I am sure you look great. I know I am always my worst critic, and I think most women are...
    I hope your pregnancy is going well and you feel better soon!

  2. Kelsey dont listen to ever told you that you are not lazy if you are still going to the gym you are doing way better than I ever did. I am sure that you look super cute with your baby bump. i know last time i saw you barely had a bump but look very beautiful.

  3. Girl, you are doing so much more than most Moms do pregnant or not. You can not listen to the so called "haters" and the ones who clearly do not understand what it is like to be pregnant, or most of all what it is like to be YOU! I can only imagine that you look super adorable! I pray that you can look at yourself and see only beauty, because to be honest pregnancy is actually a "beautiful thing" as people say. We are all our very own worst critics, and I know I put myself down way to often that I should. But 24 lbs is wonderful and you going to the gym 3-4 times a week still is great! You are doing an amazing job! I had to go into a ESB bank last week, but then I stopped because I feared it was your bank and I was embarrased of the that I look anymore. We all struggle daily. Please keep your confidence up and remember that this is a great thing, even if it does change us on the outside we are STILL beautiful!

  4. I came across your blog from Brittany Richey's. I am due about the same time as you with a baby girl as well. I feel like most of your posts I could copy and paste into my blog and it would fit perfectly. I finally took and posted a "baby bump" picture at 28 weeks. I took one again tonight, but I am not pleased with it. I like most pictures that are from the front, but the side view terrifies me! I chose not to do the maternity pics as I knew I wouldn't be happy with them. I just keep reminding myself how much it will be worth in when I am holding my sweet baby girl in my arms in a few weeks. Keep up the posts:) I love reading them!

  5. Just ran across your blog, and this post irked me quite a bit. As if life wasn't hard enough, some people have to open their mouth and make it a little tougher to take. Hoping you've forgotten those comments by now!